like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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