I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
