who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
