NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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