It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
