if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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