i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
