come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
