i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
