Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
