No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
