btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
