I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
