the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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