I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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