I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
