it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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