I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
