My friends, they love my intelligence
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
