is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
