I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did I show you my penis last night?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
