So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
