Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
