Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
