i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
soo... how was my night?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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