I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
