Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
