so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
