I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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