Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
