Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
