Soap is not a condiment
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
