i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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