Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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