Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
