I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
