omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
