i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's just like the Real World with babies
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
