hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
