just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
