i barfeds in our rink
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
