If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
