She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
