Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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