yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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