I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
