I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
