hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
