He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
