Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
