I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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